Lady Be Good: Lord Love a Lady Series, Book 5 Page 28

  A shiver of both anticipation and dread shot down Rose’s spine at such a possibility.

  The last time she’d seen him, they had danced and flirted with one another. She’d been going to tell him that she loved him. His laughing blue eyes had watched her while they danced, he’d pressed his hand to the small of her back, and she’d believed that he loved her.

  Then the world had fallen apart.

  Her world, anyhow.

  She blinked. She missed him.

  Her eyes missed him. Her body missed him. Her soul missed him.

  “We shall see.” She didn’t argue with her friend. She wanted desperately to see him. Would he kiss her one last time? “I received word from my mother today.”

  Josephine had told her she could stay at Raven’s Park for as long as she had need, but Rose would not impose much longer. Already, she felt as though she’d taken advantage of the countess’ generosity. She did not want her sullied reputation to tarnish this family any more than it already had. If anyone were to discover she was staying at Raven’s Park…

  “And how is Mrs. Waring?” Josephine carefully set her tea onto her saucer.

  Rose could not dissemble. “My aunt no longer has need of me. Apparently, she passed away two years ago. I am welcome to return home, if necessary, until I find new employment.”

  Her mother had been disappointed to hear that the quarterly monies Rose had been sending would cease.

  She would have to find another position but couldn’t fathom anyone wanting to hire her now. She was no longer respectable.

  Josephine eyed her knowingly. “You are not going to have a pastry?”

  Rose shook her head.

  Just then, the sounds of an approaching rider sent Rose’s stomach lurching. Josephine heard it too, and turned her attention toward the window. “Ah, I see that I was right. My son did not waste a moment.”

  Rome.

  The older woman rose from her chair and smoothed her skirts. “Be honest with him, Rose. And listen with your heart.”

  Rose closed her eyes and nodded. “I will.”

  “I’m going to make myself scarce. Mr. Winston will inform him of your whereabouts.”

  Rose touched her hair self-consciously.

  “You look beautiful, as always,” Josephine reassured her with a tight smile before leaving her alone.

  Rose did not feel beautiful. Dark circles seemed to have etched themselves permanently beneath her eyes. Her hair curled wildly about her head, without a stylist to tame it, and although her gown was made of lovely material, it did not feel at all as though it fit properly.

  Perhaps he’d take one look at her and flee.

  Unable to sit still, she pushed herself up from the settee and limped to the window. He dismounted easily but looked tired and unhappy. He also appeared quite determined.

  Rose pressed her forehead against the glass and allowed her eyes to devour him. When he disappeared inside the house, she hobbled back to her seat.

  Sounds of the outer door closing drifted upstairs and then the staccato of ascending footsteps. They grew louder but also somewhat tentative, until they halted outside of the room.

  He did not knock but pushed the door open firmly, his gaze purposeful and intense.

  After not seeing him for nearly a week, the shock of his presence robbed her of any calm she’d tried to muster. How was it possible for him to appear imposingly handsome, ruggedly sexy, and at the same time endearingly vulnerable?

  He wasn’t smiling, nor was he frowning. The dark circles beneath his eyes mirrored her own, as did the pain. Pain she had caused.

  Rose searched her mind for something to say to him, anything that might be appropriate after all that she’d done.

  “You are angry with me?” Her words emerged barely louder than a whisper.

  His eyes shone. With anger? With tears? She fought the sob threatening to choke her. She’d hurt him but she could not regret what she’d done. She’d die rather than allow anyone to harm him.

  He approached slowly. “You left without saying goodbye.”

  She dropped her gaze. She’d been a coward. They’d shared so much and then she’d pretended it hadn’t been real. She’d made the choice to end it, for both of them. “I couldn’t remain.” She stared at his dust-covered boots. “I was afraid…”

  “You gave up without giving me a chance to fix things.” He towered over her for only a moment before dropping to his knees at her feet, forcing her to meet his eyes. “You didn’t have faith in me.”

  Oh, God.

  Rose gulped. “I did. It’s just that I…” She swallowed hard a second time. “They were talking about the rumor. That you might be hanged. It was the only thing I could think to do. Was it Pierce? Did you investigate him?” She’d wanted to remain at Margaret’s to discuss his valet with him, but she had been afraid and ashamed. She’d failed them both.

  When she’d returned from the Willoughby Mansion, she’d known an unstoppable need to escape London. “Two of the Willoughby servants admitted to hearing Pierce talking about it. I had to do something. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you that way.”

  He furrowed his brows, but then shook his head. “It wasn’t Pierce.” But then he seemed to dismiss that part of what she’d said. “Why couldn’t you bear it, Rose? Why?”

  She would not lie to him. She opened her mouth and nothing came out. She licked her lips and tried again. “Because I love you. I’ve loved you all along.”

  His eyes flared at her words. “But you left.”

  Oh, why did he not comprehend the gulf that stretched between them? Perhaps before they might have managed it but now… “I told everyone—”

  He grasped her hands tightly, almost desperately, his eyes appearing every shade of blue imaginable. “Don’t you think I know all of that? Do you think any of it matters to me? Do you think I give a fig what Society matrons have to say about you? Do you think the invitations, the club memberships, my reputation, mean anything if I cannot be with you? You’ve taken over my heart, love. You’ve become the object of my dreams. I told you once that I loved you and you threw it back in my face. But I have never stopped loving you, Rose. I never will.”

  She pinched her eyes shut but hot tears escaped anyway. “I was afraid. And then I wasn’t. But then the ball. All those people, watching me, deciding that I wasn’t good enough to be there.”

  Warm hands grasped her face. “You have always been good enough––more than good enough!” His voice reached into her very soul and when she opened her eyes, she was lost to everything but him. “ Deep down, deep inside, you have always known. You are Rose; A woman who has provided support to her best friend when she needed it, a woman who makes music that sings to the spirit, a woman who would council me to follow my heart where my son is concerned. You not only sweetened my tea, love, but you have sweetened my life. You are my giving, caring, proud and talented Rose and I’m not letting you go.”

  His words washed over her like a benediction. “I’ve missed you so much,” she admitted, still terrified and uncertain.

  His lips trembled when they touched hers.

  She was not alone in her fear. But he would share his courage as well. Like the sun rising on the horizon, his kiss filled her with hope. Warmth, love, comfort.

  Her arms wound around him, and when their lips broke apart, she buried her face in his neck. He was a viscount, yes, but he was also flesh and blood. Had he not told her this once already? And yet she hadn’t thought him vulnerable to her. She hadn’t considered how much loving her had hurt him already.

  “I’ll walk away from all of it before I’ll let you walk away from me again.” The heat of his breath warmed her neck. She clutched more tightly as a tremor rolled through him.

  Holding this man, realizing that his greatest fear seemed to be losing her, dissolved all of her arguments, and her resistance abated. “You cannot do that.” But her hands ran over his back hungrily. “I will not leave you again,” she
promised. “But I’m afraid. I will be your mistress, if it is what you wish.”

  “You’re going to take my name.” On his knees before her, he allowed her no opportunity to disagree. “You’ll be either Mrs. Rome Spencer, or Viscountess Darlington, but either way, you are going to marry me. I mean it, Rose. You matter more to me than any of it.”

  When she’d first made love with him, she’d experienced passion, and then great satisfaction. With his hands gripping the sides of her face, hearing his words, knowing his love, Rose seized the courage to go forward. The joy that had been just out of reach on the night of the ball was hers for the taking.

  Feeling brave, and strong, and worthy of love, she embraced it fully.

  “I will marry you.” She barely got the words out before his mouth claimed hers. His kiss, this kiss, sealed a promise between the two of them. It promised today, tomorrow, a lifetime.

  “You will be my wife?” He pushed her back against the sofa, partially covering her with his body.

  “I will.” How could she not? She loved this man so very much.

  “You will be my viscountess?”

  She nodded solemnly. She could not allow him to walk away from his title, his duty, his destiny. “I will.”

  “God, Rose, you’ve given me a merry chase,” he growled.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

  He halted her apology by touching a finger to her lips. “No more apologies. No more regrets.” And seeming to realize that he’d left the door to the foyer wide open, he groaned. “We’ll marry quickly. I’m not willing to risk you changing your mind.”

  “I won’t change my mind.” Rose smoothed her gown as he situated himself more properly beside her.

  Anyone could look in on them at any moment.

  Then she remembered something he’d said. “What do you mean it wasn’t Pierce? It had to be him.”

  Rome shook his head. “No. It wasn’t him. I’ve known the culprit for months now, but there was nothing I could do about it.”

  She remembered how overbearing his valet had been back at Summers Park. “I thought that perhaps he…” She halted her words before uttering her suspicions.

  But Rome was watching her closely. “You thought that perhaps he…what?”

  Rose bit her lip. “I thought perhaps that Mr. Pierce was in love with you.”

  Rome’s face broke into a huge grin. “Even I’ll admit that my valet can be somewhat possessive but that is not it at all.”

  Rose raised her brows. “He told me to stay away from you, at Summers Park. I thought perhaps it was because he…”

  “Because he wanted me for himself?” This time, Rome actually laughed. “Ah, my love.” He stared into her eyes, becoming somber. “I will have a serious talk with him. He’s become suspicious of all females over the past few years. Even more so since the debacle last winter.”

  “Because she hurt you?”

  Rome shook his head. “Lady Eliza’s father is the person who planted the rumor. I promised not to share her secret, but as my future wife, you have a right to know. The facts of my broken engagement were not what everyone was told.”

  “Why would her father say something so horrible about you? Did his daughter not abandon you for the local blacksmith? Was it you…?” Her eyes widened in surprise that he might have done the jilting.

  “Oh, she left me all right. But not for the blacksmith. She ran away with her lady’s maid. This was not my secret to tell. Her father discovered people asking questions. They did not believe the blacksmith story.”

  “I thought it rather odd myself.”

  He nodded. “Her father needed to create a diversion. He didn’t want anyone examining his daughter’s whereabouts and actions too closely. And so he––”

  “Made up the story about you to deflect from the truth! That was not well done of him!”

  And yet, Rome had not revealed the culprit when he was in danger.

  “I believed it all would die down after I announced my engagement to you.”

  It took a few seconds for his words to make sense to Rose. “So I needn’t have…?”

  “Although it was a lovely sentiment, and it was flattering to learn from the papers that I’d satisfied you so thoroughly.” He did his best to hide his amusement but could not keep the humor from his eyes. “I hadn’t realized I possessed such skill.”

  She groaned in embarrassment, and yet could not feel despair when his eyes danced with laughter. Dear Lord, she’d never live this down.

  If only she’d taken him at his word when he’d said he’d come to London, not to court Margaret, but for her!

  Only she hadn’t been ready. She hadn’t believed herself worthy and so it had not seemed possible.

  She blinked at the thought. The worst had happened. The very worst. She’d been humiliated in front of the whole world. And then she’d ruined herself publicly.

  And yet here she sat, whole and strong. She was not broken. She’d been willing to face her future, with or without him. She would have found hope again.

  As a maid, a gentlewoman, or even as a viscountess––she mattered. He needn’t fear her running away ever again. Because she’d not been running from him, she’d been running from herself.

  And yet here she sat.

  A smile crept across her lips.

  Mystified by her epiphany, she touched his cheek tenderly, staring deeply into his eyes. “We will face the world together, then?”

  He smiled. “Together.”

  She’d not doubt this man again. He’d never once lied to her––about anything.

  “I wasn’t sure how long I ought to stay away?” Josephine’s face appeared as she peered through the open door. “It looks to me, however, that the two of you have come to an agreement?”

  Rome and Rose moved quickly to stand upon his mother’s appearance. “We have, Mother.” Rome took hold of Rose’s hand. “Miss Waring has agreed to marry me.”

  Despite all of Josephine’s reassuring words from earlier, Rose watched Rome’s mother closely for her reaction.

  “I am so happy!” The older woman’s eyes filled with tears as she rushed across the room. She embraced Rome first and then Rose. “Welcome to the family!” And leaning in closer. “Have you told him about your other news?”

  And upon hearing this question from Rome’s mother, a myriad of seemingly unrelated thoughts raced through her mind and then began clicking into place. Other news? Surely, she didn’t think...?

  And yet… when was the last time she’d had her monthlies? She’d been so caught up in leaving Penelope and assisting Margaret, missing Rome and then pretending she’d never been a maid, that she hadn’t given much thought to her swelling midsection, despite her diminished appetite.

  She stared at Josephine and then turned again to Rome. Penelope would have quite the laugh over this.

  “What other news, darling?” Rome smiled.

  She’d failed to recognize that which ought to have been obvious. Because he’d withdrawn before releasing his seed, she’d deluded herself into believing it wasn’t possible.

  And yet it was.

  She went to speak but couldn’t manage a single word. Her mind was spinning in circles, along with everything else. “Oh, Rome…”

  I’m pregnant.

  For the first time in her life, her vision swam and before she could say the words aloud, Rose fainted.

  “Rose? Darling?” It was Rome. She must be dreaming. A wonderful dream. So real that even his scent filled her nostrils. “Come back to me, love.” A cool cloth landed on her head.

  It was not a dream! She blinked her eyes open. He was here. It all came back in a rush. A movement across the room had her gaze slanting to catch Josephine’s eyes. Her dear friend winced. Rome’s mother.

  “I am so sorry, Rose.”

  Rome was seated beside her, where she was laying on the settee, and he was alternately rubbing her hand and touching the side of her face. “Will one of you please ex
plain? What news?” He’d gone rather pale and his brows furrowed in worry. “Are you ill, love? Are you in pain?”

  “I’m fine.” Then, feeling herself blush from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair, she added, “I believe I am with child.”

  How had she not suspected? She’d simply assumed she’d gained a little weight and that she felt tired because of everything that had happened. She’d never had regular monthlies and what with all the traveling and changes…

  Rome simply stared at her. “Could we have a moment alone, Mother?”

  He didn’t say another word until Josephine disappeared, this time closing the door behind her.

  He dropped his hand to her waist. No longer soft and flat but firm and curving upward beneath his palm. “I thought I had protected you.”

  She could only smile at him weakly. “Apparently, such techniques are not one hundred percent effective.”

  His eyes became suspiciously bright. “But it’s already May. That means…”

  Rose swallowed hard and did a little mental math. “I believe you will be a father once again come autumn.”

  He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were unusually bright. “You were going to do this on your own? You were not going to tell me?”

  Ignoring her light-headedness, she pushed herself up to sit. “I just realized myself.” She would never knowingly have denied him his child after all that he’d been through. “I hadn’t even thought… I would have told you!” Horror crept in at the possibility that she’d planned on leaving him forever. She could not have kept his child from him. I would not! “I would have told you!”

  Even now, she could hardly believe it herself. She covered his hand with her own.

  He’d come after her. He’d told her he would walk away from his birthright if she would not have him for who he was.

  “I don’t know what I would have done,” she began frantically. “If I’d lost you forever. I’m so very—”

  He caught her lips with his own, effectively silencing another apology. “Thank God I found you,” he said against her mouth. He kissed her quite thoroughly before gently setting her away from him. As he did so, he reached into his coat and withdrew a somewhat wrinkled but folded document.